


Bloody Demons

by noladyme



Series: Skip To My Lou, My Darling [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:15:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27475606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noladyme/pseuds/noladyme
Summary: The road so far…Waitress. School teacher. Bartender. Hunter. Lulu has come a long way since she first met the Winchesters, including the father, John. Having left behind the occult for a life of peace, she was ripped out of it, when – once again – the Winchesters came in to her life.Realizing she is in the life now – for good – she also made a decision for herself. To live that life without the only man she has ever truly cared for. Both to keep him and his brother safe from leviathans, angels and demons; but also, because she doesn’t trust that her feelings for Dean are true – and not part of some higher plan set up by celestial powers.Our story continues in season 8
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Skip To My Lou, My Darling [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2007559
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

You’d be surprised how much info you can get in a library. This statement might seem ridiculous, because – of course – a library holds all the knowledge in the world.  
But there’s more than what you can find in books. There’s peoplewatching.

If you look at what people check out, you’ll learn a lot about them.  
That middle aged woman checking out a book on auto repairs – her car broke down, and he husband usually takes care of those kinds of things; but now he’s left her for a younger woman.  
The teenage boy with the masses of comic books in his arms – odds are there is at least one My Little Pony comic among them, that he’s too embarrassed to buy at a store; so he goes to the library to get it, hiding it among comics about big breasted women and superheroes.  
The woman sitting alone at a table with a massive paper cup of black coffee; surrounded by books on local history and papers and notes on the occult – if you came into the library on that specific day; that was me. And I was hunting a ghost.

I’d spent more than a year salting and burning my way across the states; avoiding any real fights, and sticking to the easier and more obvious cases, where all I needed was to open a grave, and take care of the bones.  
Managing to convince my ex, Pete – who was still reeling from the traumatic temporary memory loss he’d suffered, after being kidnapped by leviathans – to send my belongings to my friends in San Francisco; I was now free to disappear for good. No strings attached; save for the occasional call to Raul – letting him know I was alive, and still serving beer in Alaska.  
In reality, I was in Hartford, near Sioux Falls, South Dakota; having just picked up a box of old papers stood in the basement of a good acquaintance.

“How was your visit with the good sheriff?”, a female voice asked me.  
I jumped in my seat; having been deeply invested in a piece of paper scribbled over with rantings of what seemed like a madman – who’s every tenth word was balls.  
“Jesus Christ, Tamara”, I hissed. “You scared the crap out of me!”.  
My friend sat down across from me, and took the paper from my hand.  
“Bobby Singer… I still can’t believe what happened to him”, Tamara said sadly.

I rested my elbow on the table, and took a sip from my coffee.  
“When did you last see him?”, I asked.  
Tamara’s face was ghosted with sadness, before she met my eyes.  
“Years ago. Back when Isaac…”. She didn’t finish the sentence.  
“You never told me what happened to him”, I said. “I mean, you don’t have to…”.  
She smiled slightly.  
“It’s all right”, she said. “Demons. We were working on taking out a whole group of them, when… he didn’t make it”. She sighed. “Bobby was there; along with some younger lads… Sam and Dean Winchester. Heard of them?”.

It had been a long time since I’d heard those names. Even Jody didn’t mention them to me, when I checked in with her – as she’d insisted I do weekly, after that one time I called her from the ER, telling her about a tulpa in Minnesota; that I needed her to have the brothers check out. I’d had no idea what to do with it; and had ended up with a nasty gash down my ribs.  
She’d told me she hadn’t been in touch with them for months, and didn’t know how to reach them at the moment. I’d thanked her, but when she heard the sadness in my voice, she’d insisted on picking me up, and I’d spent a few days on her couch; eating lasagna and watching daytime tv. I’d been too afraid to decline, when she used her mom-voice on me.

I swallowed hard.  
“You worked with them?”, I muttered.  
“Only that once”, Tamara said. “Why, you know them?”. The corner of my lip twitched. “I saw that!”, Tamara gasped.  
“What?”, I croaked.  
“Which one…?”, she whispered. “Sam… he’s got that tall broody thing going”. She smirked at me as I looked away. “Oh… Dean… Sure you didn’t catch anything?”.  
“Tammy!”, I hissed.  
“Don’t you Tammy me!”, she retorted. “That car… is it to compensate; or does he not need that…?”.  
I met her eyes, and gave her a crooked smile. She grinned widely at me.  
I shook my head.  
“I have work to do”, I muttered.

Forcing myself to ignore the memory of Dean and his car – and Dean in his car; with me on his lap – I returned to the 1950 death of a young woman, who had ever since been seen, once a year, walking over a bridge near a lover’s lane.  
Tamara sighed.  
“I need to get to Kansas”.  
“That vampire nest?”, I asked, taking another large sip of my coffee.  
She nodded.  
“You sure you don’t want to join me? Girls trip?”, she asked.  
“You have all the help you need up there; and I never took down a vamp before. I’d just get in the way”, I answered. “But thank you for the ride here”, I added.

She stood up.  
“You, my friend, need a car!”.  
“Yeah… Digging up old graves and reading weird books doesn’t exactly pay well”, I muttered.  
The last car I’d had, had broken down three months earlier.  
She looked at me with worried eyes.  
“You can’t keep hitch-hiking across the country, love”, she said. “Bloody dangerous, that is”.  
“I’ll be fine. Really”, I smiled.  
I stood up, and hugged my friend goodbye; and promised to call if anything came up, she needed to help out with.

I took a bus back to my motel, and settled in for the night; with a beer and some day-old pizza.  
My burner-phone buzzed; and recognizing the number, I picked up.  
“Hey, Jody”, I said. “Did I forget something at your place?”.  
“Hey, sweetie. Uhm…”.  
“What? Jody…”, I demanded.  
“I just had a visit from a weird guy in a flasher-coat… he was looking for you”, she said. Castiel, I thought to myself – my heart leaping from my chest.  
“What did he… Did he hurt you?”, I asked; by instinct reaching for the angel sword.  
“No… But he wanted to know where you were”. She sighed. “Look, I don’t mind being your switchboard receptionist; god knows, things around here can get downright dull. But this guy…”.  
I chewed my lip.  
“I’m sorry, Jody… Did you tell him where I was?”, I asked.  
She scoffed.  
“You won’t even tell me yourself. How could I?”.

I sighed; unsure whether it was in relief, or something else.  
“You know, I’m aware you’re close by… I could just check all motels in a 40-mile radius for check-ins by classic rock superstars…”, Jody said, a smile in her voice.  
“Going full cop on me?”, I grinned. “I don’t use those anymore… too obvious”.  
“Burlesque names then?”, she said.  
“You caught me…”, I replied. As it was, I was checked in as Justinia Timberlake; going with boybands – for reasons I didn’t want to admit to myself. “Thanks, ma’…”.  
“Well, that makes me feel old… Anyway, he said he’d be back later tonight. Needed to find you. Do you want to be found by him?”.

I took a deep breath, pondering the question. No, I didn’t want to be found by the person who’d let leviathans loose on the world; causing me to be almost eaten by one 18 months ago. Yes, I wanted to see my friend; to know he was ok.  
He hadn’t hurt Jody to get to me, so maybe he was good Cass again.  
I sighed.  
“When he comes, tell him… Tell him I’ll be in the shower at the Motel 6 in Hartford. Room 13”. I’d know when he arrived if I could trust him.  
“That sounds… Ok, I’ll tell him. Be careful, Lulu”.  
“I will. Bye, Jody”. I hung up; and began preparations.

\---

Bobby’s journal had helped me out quite a bit in the last year, helping me keep under the radar by pointing out which motels were off the beaten path; and which monsters to stay clear of.  
Even after it seemed the leviathans had disappeared, I still kept well away from anyone and everything that might put me in contact with angels and demons – and the Winchesters for that matter.

Another thing it had taught me was the sigil I was currently writing on the wall; while still wincing in pain from the gash in my palm I’d cut to draw blood.  
All my belongings were in my backpack – which I was wearing – and my sword was in my hand. I was ready to repel a crazy angel; and to skip town quickly.  
I took a deep breath, and readied myself.

After what seemed like forever – just standing next to a bloody scribbling on a wall – I felt a gush of wind; and Castiel stood in front of me. He was covering his eyes with one hand, and holding out a towel with the other. The sight brought joyous tears to my eyes.

“Cass…”, I breathed. The angel carefully parted the fingers over his eyes – and satisfied that I was indeed dressed – he dropped the towel, and smiled at me.  
“Lulu. It is good to see you”.  
I dropped my sword, and leapt over to embrace my friend. Castiel reacted as he’d always done when I showed him affection; by tensing up, and gently patting my head.  
He smelled like old librarian mixed with fresh air, and – for some reason – musk and gunpowder. He’d been with them.

I let go of him, and stepped back.  
“What happened? Are you ok?”, I asked.  
The angel smiled amiably.  
“Yes. I am… myself again”, he said. “I have to apologize for our last meeting. I was… different”.  
I gave him a crooked smile.  
“I wish I could say it was water under the bridge, but you did kind of bad-touch me”, I said. “Not sexually, I mean… but still”.  
Cass chuckled. It was a strange – almost human – reaction.  
“Yes, I carved words into your bones. It is also why I haven’t been able to find you”.

I took off my backpack, and got out the small first aid kit I had in it. Castiel frowned.  
“I’m sorry, but I can’t heal you. I need to save my strength”.  
I shrugged.  
“It’s fine. I’ve been taking care of my own wounds for over a year”.  
“Yes, that is what others have told us…”.  
My breath hitched, and I tried to seem indifferent.  
“Us?”, I croaked; and began running a bandage around my hand.  
“Yes”, Cass nodded. “Me, Sam… and Dean. We’ve been looking for you for a few weeks. We need… your book. Bobby Singer’s book”.  
Just the book. Of course, it was just that.  
“We are working on… something”.  
I let out a scoffing laugh.  
“Well call me not surprised”, I said.

Cass stepped towards me.  
“So… you’ll give me the book?”.  
I narrowed my eyes at him.  
“No”.  
“No?”, Cass retorted with a confused look at me.  
“That’s right”, I smiled. “It’s mine”.  
“But… we need it”.

I took a deep breath; and made a decision.  
“Where the book goes, I go… So, I’ll go with you”.  
Castiel’s eyes lit up.  
“You will? That’s… good. I think”, he smiled. “I can take you right away”. He stepped towards me.  
“Wait, stop!”, I said. Cass halted. “Where?”.  
“Lebanon, Kansas. It’s a safe place, don’t worry”, the angel smiled.

I looked down at my feet. I was wearing my boots; that was good. I packed up my backpack, and put it on my back. I picked up the box of Bobby’s old papers; but Cass took them from me, so I wouldn’t have to carry them.  
“Ok… let’s go”, I croaked.

Castiel lifted an arm, and walked towards me; putting his hand on my shoulder.

\---

We were standing by a large mound with what looked like an old factory building seemingly growing out of it.  
My legs felt like jelly, and Cass grabbed my arm to steady me.  
“We’re here”, he said.  
“Where’s here?”, I asked breathily.  
“I’ll show you”, Cass smiled.  
We walked up a small road, and passed a black car I recognized from my past – and my dreams and nightmares.  
Cass led me to a metal door sprouting from the mound.  
“It’s inside”, he muttered, and opened the screeching door for me.

I stepped inside and was met by a dark spiral staircase leading downwards. Castiel walked ahead of me; which I was thankful for, as I didn’t trust my own legs, and would rather be caught by him, than fall and break my neck.  
Suddenly a warm light hit me, and I stepped out on a balcony overlooking a large room outfitted with a large table made out as a map.  
The scent of library hit me, and I understood why Castiel had smelled the way he did when I hugged him.  
The large room was warm and inviting; but also looked very official, with it’s filing cabinets, and papers on the table.

Castiel walked ahead of me down another flight of stairs, and put the box of papers on the mapped table.  
“I’m back!”, he called out.  
“About time!”, a voice that sent shivers down my spine growled. “Please tell us you got something. At least dinner”.  
“I’m afraid I didn’t have the time to get food for you”, Cass said, and walked towards a large archway leading to another room further inside the bunker – as I decided this place was.  
“Dude, I gave you 20 bucks for burgers!”.

I considered turning around and leaving. I screamed at myself internally to just haul ass up the stairs, and never come back. But I couldn’t.

Castiel stood in the archway, and looked up at me.  
“I brought the journal… And a guest”.  
“You shouldn’t bring people here”, I heard Sam’s voice.  
My heart pounded, as I heard footsteps across hardwood floor; and then my 6’4 friend stood in the archway with the angel; looking the direction he was.  
His jaw instantly dropped, and his eyes sparkled.

“I want my 20 bucks back, dude”, Dean said as he joined the other two. “I could eat a…”. He looked up. “Lou…”.  
Castiel frowned.  
“You can’t eat…”.  
“Shut up”, Dean croaked, stepping down the few stairs into the large concrete floored room.

I took a gasping breath; having to remind myself to breathe at all.  
“Hi…”, I rasped.  
Dean seemed unsure what to say.  
“Hey…?”.  
I began descending the stairs into the room; taking care to hit every step just so, so I wouldn’t trip.  
Before I hit the last step; Dean took four long strides towards me – and threw his arms around me – holding me tight against him. I put my arms around his neck, and he lifted me down the last steps.  
Musk, gunpowder, whiskey – Dean. My warm, constantly five o’clock shadowed, strong; yet so fragile, Dean.

I had to tear myself from him; taking short breaths, and trying desperately not to inhale him even further. It was agony.  
His eyes where as deep and soulful as ever, and the corner of his lip lifted; giving him an expression I couldn’t define as whether being relief, joy or pain – or maybe all three at once.

“Lulu?”, Sam croaked from behind me.  
I turned around, and threw myself into his arms, earning a spin in the air, as he lifted me.  
“Hi, Sammy”, I breathed. He squeezed me tightly. “Air!”, I gasped.  
“Sorry”, Sam chuckled, and put me down; before stroking my cheek.

All four of us stood for a moment, before Castiel cleared his throat.  
“Well, Lulu is here now. She has the book”, he said. “We can get on with our work”.  
“Just give us a moment here, Cass”, Sam said. “How are you, Lulu? We’ve been looking for you”.  
”You shouldn’t have”, I muttered.  
“I know, you made that pretty clear last time we heard from you. But…”, Sam began.  
“We need Bobby’s book”, Dean said; having stepped up next to me.  
Right, the book.

I raised a brow at him.  
“My book. And you can’t have it”, I said.  
Dean frowned.  
“But… we need it”, he said.  
“So do I”, I retorted.  
He closed his eyes and shook his head.  
“Why does it feel like we’ve had this conversation before?”.  
“Because we did, agent Osbourne”, I chuckled.  
“Right”, he smiled.

Sam – who apparently just needed a bucket of popcorn for the entertainment he was getting from our conversation – stifled a smile.  
“Lulu, we’re working on something pretty big here”, he said.  
“What?”, I asked.  
“Saving humanity”, Dean said.  
“Again?”, I sighed.  
Sam let out a soft laugh.  
“Wouldn’t be us if it wasn’t, right?”.

I walked up the stairs into the other room, which walls were covered in filing cabinets and books.  
“What is this place?”, I asked, in awe.  
Sam followed me into the room.  
“This is The Men of Letter’s bunker”.  
“Who are they?”.  
“Us… now”, Dean shrugged. “We’re kind of like a secret society”. His smugness was tangent of embarrassing.  
“Look, we’ll fill you in on whatever you want…”, Sam began.  
Dean cleared his throat, and suddenly looked at his brother with hard eyes.

I rolled my eyes.  
“This again…”, I muttered.  
Dean frowned.  
“What?”.  
“We need to keep you safe. Keep your head low. Stay here. Go there”, I imitated his growling.  
“I don’t sound like that!”, Dean growled; proving my impersonation had been right on. He frowned at me, looking cute as a button doing so. I sent him a pouting smile. “Whatever. We need the book”.  
“And I told you. You can’t have it. I need it”.  
“For what?”, he grunted.  
“For jobs”, I replied.

Dean pursed his lips, and blew out a deep breath; clearly trying to control himself.  
“So you have been… doing jobs…”.  
“Of course I have”, I said. “What else am I supposed to do? Officially, I think I’m probably dead. There aren’t a lot of teaching gigs out there for dead chicks, who hit the road with fugitives”.  
He stepped over to me, and grabbed my hand.  
“And what’s this?”, he asked, pointing at the bandage on it.  
“A precaution”, I said.  
“Against me”, Castiel said. “Lulu was right to be careful. Last time she saw me…”. He looked down in remembrance; clearly still ashamed of his former actions.

Dean unwrapped my hand.  
“Sam, this needs stitches”, he grunted.  
I tore my hand from his grasp.  
“I’m fine”, I muttered.  
“You’re not fine, Lulu. You’re bleeding. Just let us fix you up”.  
I shook my head in surrender.  
“There’s a needle and some floss in my bag”, I said, and took of my backpack.  
“We have actual medical supplies now”, Sam smiled, and disappeared through a door.

Castiel slipped away as well, leaving me and Dean alone in the large room.  
I sat down at one of the large tables. Dean sat on the edge of the table.  
“So, hunting?”, he muttered. “How’s that treating you?”.  
“Well enough”, I said.  
He clenched his jaw.  
“Huh… How do you take down a werewolf?”, he asked.  
“Silver bullet”, I said.  
“Vampire?”, he continued, raising a brow at me.  
“Decapitation or fire”.  
“Shojo?”.

I let out a frustrated breath.  
“I have no idea, Dean. Never met one”, I said. “Never met a werewolf or a vampire either”.  
“Good, you’re not ready for any of that”, he said. “You shouldn’t even be here right now”.  
“It’s not safe”, I imitated him again.  
“Stop”, he grunted. “You have no idea how to be a hunter. Or what you’re getting yourself mixed up in by coming back here with Cass”.  
I clenched my jaw.  
“You’re right on one of those two accounts”, I said. “No, I don’t know what you’re working on, and it’s probably much to dangerous for me. But yes – I do know how to hunt. At least partly. And I’m learning as I go. Isn’t that what everybody does?”.  
He scoffed, and shook his head with a sarcastic smile.  
“In over your head, sugar”.  
“Screw you, Dean”, I growled.

I got of my chair; almost making it topple over from the force of my movement.  
“I have been working jobs all over for a long time now”, I hissed. “I’ve been playing it safe, yes; but what I’ve been doing, matters!”.  
Dean rolled his eyes.  
“Lou, you’re…”, he began.  
“A newbie. Unskilled, untrained; and with a desperate need for better equipment than the .45 you gave me 18 months ago”. I drew my lips back in a sneer. “But I’m not an idiot, and I don’t want to die. I’m not gonna throw myself at monsters I know nothing about, and can’t take down. But I have to learn to survive in this job, and I’m learning by working”.  
He shook his head.  
“You have no idea what you’re talking about”.  
“Then tell me!”, I yelled. 

Dean suddenly laughed. The gesture made me want to smack him across the face, but my hand still hurt from the cut.  
I snatched Bobby’s journal from my bag, and held it up.  
“You want this?”, I snarled. “Then you treat me with a little more respect for what I’ve been doing the last year!”.  
I grabbed my bag, and stormed towards the stairs.  
“Lou!”, Dean called after me.  
“Go to Hell…! Again!”, I yelled over my shoulder.

I heard him run after me, and he grabbed my arm.  
“I’m sorry”, he said. “Really…”.  
I turned around to face him.  
“I don’t need your permission to do something I’m actually kind of good at”, I said. “You don’t know…”.  
“You’re right. I don’t”, Dean said earnestly. “So, tell me… please. Maybe I… we can help”.  
I calmed my breathing.  
“Let go of my arm”, I croaked. He instantly stepped back.

Sam returned with a box.  
“We’re out of disinfectant”, he said.  
“Whiskey it is”, I muttered. “Please tell me you have that”.

\---

Soon after, we were seated at the big table; as Sam was carefully stitching up my hand.  
“So, Ohio… ow! Bloody hell, Sam!”, I hissed, as he poked the needle through my skin.  
“New curse words, Lou”, Dean chuckled. “And fancy English ones as well”.  
I smiled.  
“Yeah, speaking of Ohio… ow”, I continued. “A crazy nurse had been killing patients in the 40’s; and the hospital was closing down – pissing her off something fierce… ow”.  
“Sorry”, Sam muttered, and pulled at the surgical thread.  
Dean poured me another drink.  
“Go on”, he said.

“She was suddenly nabbing pretty much every and any patient she could”, I said; before taking a sip of the whiskey. “I was looking up where they’d buried her after her execution, but it turned out she’d been cremated”.  
“What did you do?”, Sam asked. He made a final stitch.  
“Remind me to smack you across the face, when this heals up”, I muttered. “That hurt!”. He chuckled at me, and began wrapping up my hand in a clean bandage. “I found out from an old picture that she had a locket around her neck; which they took from her before she died. It was displayed at a museum in Dayton; and when I tracked it down, I met another hunter”. I looked up at Dean. “Tamara”.

Dean looked stunned.  
“Tamara? As in British Tamara?”.  
“Yeah”, I smiled. “She’d gotten there before me; and like me, suspected a strand of hair might be stuck in the locket. I distracted the security guy long enough for her to nab it”.  
“How?”, he frowned. I looked at him innocently, biting my lip. He looked at me exasperatedly. “You didn’t… Please tell me you didn’t…”.  
I rolled my eyes.  
“Sleep with him? No. I just flirted with him a little”.  
Dean swallowed hard.  
“You do that all the time”, Sam grinned.  
“That’s totally different!”, Dean growled.

Sam shook his head.  
“Then what?”, he asked.  
“Salt and burn”, I smiled. “Which is pretty much all I’ve been doing. I haven’t been taking on anything hardcore. Yet”.  
“Really?”, Dean asked warily.  
I grimaced.  
“Well… about 9 months ago I came across a tulpa. I thought it was just your every day ghost, and I was just checking out the house; when it attacked me. Salt didn’t work, or iron…”.  
Dean suddenly looked tense.  
“What did it do to you?”, he growled.  
I lifted my t-shirt slightly; exposing a mostly white scar down my ribs. Dean reached over the table, and made to touch it, but I dropped the fabric, and sat back in my chair; finishing my drink in one go.  
“I had no idea what to do about it, but Bobby wrote something about you guys taking one out some years back; so I called Jody”.

“I asked the sheriff to help me find Lulu”, Cass said, having reappeared with a bag of Mexican food. “I have… taquitos. And jalapeño poppers”, he added, with a soft smile in my direction.  
“Ranch?”, I asked. The angel nodded. “I love you!”.  
Castiel cleared his throat.  
“I have warm emotions towards you as well”, he said.

“So, you called Jody. Why?”, Sam asked; packing up the medical kit.  
“To get her to have you take care of it. But she said she couldn’t get in touch with you”.  
Dean scratched his chin.  
“Yeah, Cass and I were in Purgatory, and Sam hit a dog…”, he muttered.  
I shook my head.  
“Nothing’s ever easy with you guys, is it…”.

I opened the bag Castiel had put on the table, and dived for my poppers.  
“Yum. Extra cheese”, I hummed. I noticed Dean’s eyes warming almost endearingly; but when I licked my finger for a stray dollop of dressing, his gaze suddenly darkened into something else. He parted his lips, and his eyes fastened on my mouth.  
My breath hitched, and I shook myself – quickly wiping my mouth with a napkin.  
“I’m gonna go grab the beer”, Dean grunted; and left the room as quickly as he could.

“So, what are you working on?”, my voice broke.  
“We found a tablet”, Sam said. “The word of God”.  
My eyes widened.  
“The actual word of God?”, I breathed. “What?”.  
“We’re going to use it to seal Hell. For good”.  
I nodded.  
“That sounds like an awesome idea!”, I smiled. “How can I help?”.

“You can’t”, Dean grunted, returning with three beers, and a bottle of seltzer for Cass. “This isn’t on you”.  
“But you need my book”, I said. “And you’re not getting that without my say so”.  
He tilted his head, and gave me his trademark smirk, sending electric jolts straight to my core.  
“We could always take it from you”.  
With bated breath, I put my sword on the table; keeping my hand on the hilt.  
“I’d like to see you try”, I croaked.  
“All right, you know…”. Dean clenched his fists, before rolling up his sleeves.  
I stood up.  
“We gonna dance now?”, I said; trying for menacing – and failing miserably.  
“Let me just get my NSYNC-album”, he snarled.

“Ok, guys! Stop!”, Sam called out. “Lulu, Dean’s right. This is a pretty dangerous operation we’ve got going on here. You shouldn’t get involved”.

I clenched my jaw, and took a deep breath to calm myself.  
“Tell you what… I’ll go back to my own work; and you three can figure out how to save the world without Bobby’s journal”, I said; beginning to put my jacket back on. “When you decide to stop acting like dicks, and let me in on why you’re trying to mess up my job, by taking away my research…”.  
“It’s Bobby’s research”, Dean snarled.  
“That he left for me!”, I yelled. “And it has my additions”.  
I went to grab my bag, when Dean snatched the journal from it, before I could reach it. He held it over his head, as he had my sword, years ago.  
“Don’t do this…”, I hissed.  
“I watched plenty of roller derby games, sweetheart. I know your moves”.

His smug smile lit a fire in me, like none other I had never felt before.  
I ran at him, throwing my shoulder against his chest, making him stumble backwards, and knock over a chair.  
The journal fell from his hand, and slid across the floor; and I threw myself after it. Dean grabbed my ankle; and I fell to the floor, on my stomach. I tried to kick myself free from his grasp – and reached the book; clutching it to my chest under me.  
Dean straddled me – his strong legs keeping me in place – and he twisted my body around by my shoulders. We wrestled for the books, and when Dean grabbed my wrists – forcing them over my head – I finally had to let go.  
He looked at me with hard eyes.  
“Take it”, he growled; still holding me in place.  
“Dean…!”, Sam yelled; running over to us.  
“Take it, Sam!”, his brother roared.  
Sam took the book from the floor, and looked at me with sad eyes.  
“I’m sorry, Lulu”, he muttered.

Dean stayed on top of me – holding me down. His weight on me made my body scream for his touch; at the same time as I wanted him to let me go, and to never touch me again.  
He looked enraged; but then a thought seemed to cross his mind – one that made him realize what he was doing.  
He let go of my wrists, and I pushed at his chest hard; making him get off me. Castiel came over, and helped me to my feet.

I stormed out of the room, and down a hallway of doors with numbers on them. Once I found number 13, I opened the door, and stepped inside; slamming it shut behind me.

I took deep breaths – fighting tears and hiccupping sobs.  
Looking around the room, I tried to focus on what I was seeing, to distract myself. Damn self-help books, I thought to myself. Please help me now.  
Five things I could see. A bed, a desk, a chair, a book on 1920’s psychiatry, and a dresser.  
Four things I could touch. I stood up. The floor, the wall, the comforter on the bed, and the gun in the back of my jeans.  
Three things I could hear. The clock ticking over the door, the drips from the faucet on the sink, and my own footsteps.  
Two things I could smell. Gunpowder and musk. Dammit.  
One thing I could taste. The whiskey I’d had earlier.

With one final breath, I felt my heart settle – before it sprang up in my throat again, when the door knocked.  
“Lou…? Can I come in?”.  
I stood with my back to the door, not answering.  
“I know you’re in there. Table 13; always table 13, right?”.

Dean opened the door, and stepped inside, closing it behind him.

“I’m sorry, baby… I didn’t mean…”, he began.  
“I still… It hurts… even being in the same room as you”, I croaked, and a tear fell down my cheek, as I turned around – making Dean’s face fall into a pained expression. “I keep trying to get over you… Hunting, drinking… sex”. He winced at the last word. “I tried it all, Dean, but it never works”.  
“I know…”, he breathed. He might as well have added an I feel the same – his eyes gave away the words.  
“Why doesn’t it work?”, I whimpered.

He stepped towards me, but I held up my hands to stop him.  
“Don’t… please”. I balled my fists up – forcing my body to stay in place, and not walk into his arms. “You can use my book. You have 48 hours, then I want it back”.  
Dean nodded solemnly. I closed my eyes.  
“After that, I’m gone. For good”. I crunched up my brows, and opened my eyes again, looking at Dean with as much determination I could muster. “You don’t look for me, don’t ask for me – pretend I’m a stranger if you hear my name”. Dean’s lips parted, but I continued before he could speak. “I’m done. I can’t… see you. It hurts to much”.

Dean’s eyes watered.  
“Lou, please… don’t do this”, he breathed. “Don’t throw me away like this”.  
“I’m sorry”, I rasped. “This isn’t real. If they hadn’t planned it, we would have never gone beyond that first kiss; you know it as well as I do”.  
He shook his head, and a tear escaped his eye.  
“I lo…”.  
“You don’t”, I said. “You think you do; but it’s only because I was made for you. I have to be my own. And I can’t, if you keep popping up in my life”.

Dean closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. When he looked at me again, I saw complete defeat in his gaze. I’d just broken his heart.  
“Ok. If that’s what you want”, he whispered, a tear escaping his eye.  
I wanted to say It’s not. I want you. I want us. But I needed a clean break, and I believed Dean needed that as well.  
“48 hours. Give me back the book, and you’ll never have to see me again. It’s better this way. For both of us”.  
Dean nodded.  
“You can stay in here, if it’s easier than being around me”, he muttered; eyes on the floor. “I’ll stay away”.  
“Thank you”, I croaked.

He left the room, and I closed the door behind him.

\---

I stayed in the room for hours, curled up on the bed. At one point, there was a knock at the door; and when I opened, there stood a tray outside, with food and a bottle of seltzer. I sent a warm thought to Cass, and took the tray inside; eating my meal in peace.  
There was no entertainment in the room – save for the outdated book on psychiatry – and after finishing my meal, I was going stir crazy.

I tried to catch a little sleep, but couldn’t rest properly; and decided to leave the room. Avoiding going in to the library, I snuck down the hall; and examined my surroundings.  
I found a large kitchen, outfitted to serve a large amount of people. The fridge was filled with leftover fast food and beer; making it clear that the Winchesters had yet to become all the way domesticated.  
Down a smaller hallway was a large storage room, with things I was quite sure I shouldn’t be touching. I left the room as quickly as I had entered.

Passing another few numbered doors, I went past number 21. The door was slightly ajar, and inside, Sam was bent over Bobby’s journal, seemingly enraptured by what he was reading.  
He looked up, and met my eyes – sending me a crooked smile – before I hurried away, to avoid conversation. He didn’t follow.

I found what looked like an old-fashioned gym; and my eyes widened in glee. Here, I felt at home. The punching bags and boxing gloves reminded me of my sessions with Raul.  
I took off my boots, and grabbed a pair of gloves that seemed to fit my hands – turning my attention to one of the bags.

Punch, punch, kick. This I knew. All my frustrations – the pent-up emotions – I let travel through my arms and legs; as I attacked the bag.  
“You’re angry”, Cass said; having appeared in the doorway.  
“I’m… no”, I said.  
“You’re distraught”, the angel tried.  
“Something like that. I’m sad. Frustrated…”. I punched hard at the bag. “Tired”.

Muscle pain was building up in my shoulders, and I took off the gloves; dropping them on the floor next to me.  
“I thought you would be happy to see your friends”, Castiel said.  
I was thinking of a good way to explain my emotions to him.  
“I can’t… be happy. Not now”.  
“Why?”, Cass asked.  
I chuckled.  
“Talking to you is like talking to Rain Man”, I said.  
Castiel grinned.  
“I’ve seen that movie now. Uh oh, fart…”, he chuckled. “But I would like to understand”.

I punched the bag hard with my stitched-up hand; wincing from the pain. I held it up for Castiel to see.  
“This – pain – I can feel it. It’s real”, I said. “Impact… physical reaction… It makes sense”.  
“And happiness doesn’t?”, Cass asked.  
“No, because I can’t trust it… it’s not real”.  
Castiel looked like he was pondering my words.  
“But your physical interactions with Dean… those make sense, don’t they?”.  
I groaned.  
“Me and Dean… Is… was, more than physical”.  
“Yes I know”, the angel said. “You have feelings for each other”.  
“But they’re not real”, I explained.  
“Why not?”.  
“You should know”, I scoffed. “Angel…”.

Castiel seemed even more confused.  
“I’m not following”, he said.  
I shook my head.  
“I… just can’t do this anymore”, I breathed. I put my boots back on. “I’m going back to my room. You have about 40 hours left with my book”.  
I left the room and the angel behind.

I was feeling sweaty, and decided to search for a shower. The many hallways were confusing; and I finally caved, and decided to ask Sam for help.  
Arriving back at room 21, the door was closed, and when I knocked there was no answer.  
I opened the door to see if he was inside, but all I found was a made bed, and some clothes over a chair.  
I walked back towards the kitchen, and bumped in to Dean; who was leaving the room with a mug of coffee in his hand.

“Sorry”, I muttered, as I noticed his coffee having spilt slightly over the floor. “I’ll clean that up”.  
“Don’t worry about it”, he said quietly. “I got it…”.  
“Ok”, I nodded. “I just…”. He looked at me hopefully. “I was looking for a shower”.  
Dean nodded.  
“Down the hall, to the left by my… by room 11”, he said.  
“Thank you”, I whispered; and scurried off.

Finally finding the showers, I got undressed, and turned on the water. The water pressure and temperature were amazing; just like everything else in the bunker. So far, everything I had seen here was perfect.  
There were clean rooms, a well-stocked library, access to training equipment and weapons, and my friends were here. And Dean.  
I could stay here, and be happy. But it wouldn’t be real.

As I let the water drip over my naked body, I leaned against the wall. I began questioning my choice to continue hunting. I’d have never started in the life, if I hadn’t met the Winchesters – if angels hadn’t put me in their path. Maybe angels had sent the maren after me to begin with.  
Maybe I should quit.

The thought was comforting and terrifying all at once. I’d have to start over – again. Be a teacher or tend bars; that was all I knew, other than what I had been doing the last year.  
And I loved hunting, I helped people; even if I never let anyone know why their houses stopped having flickering lights; or why hospitals stopped losing patients who had only minor injuries. I stayed quiet about what I did; didn’t need the glory.

Turning off the water, I realized I hadn’t brought clean clothes into the bathroom; and wrapped myself in a large towel – slipping quietly down the hall to avoid meeting anyone.  
I passed room 11, and heard voices from inside.

“She doesn’t really want to be here, Cass”, Dean muttered.  
“Why? I don’t understand. You two…”, Castiel began.  
“Because it’s not real!”, Dean growled. “Your… ass-butt brothers made her specifically for me. It’s not real, it’s forced on me… and her”.  
“Dean…”.  
“Find some way to break this bond we have. It’s not fair to her…”, Dean said.  
“I can’t do that…”, Cass said quietly.  
“Why?”, Dean roared. There was no answer. “Cass… just get out”.  
The door began opening, as if someone was pulling at the knob, and I ran for room 13; closing and locking the door behind me.

Good. He was on the same page as me. And maybe there was a way to break our bond; and make me free of these feelings. Maybe Cass just didn’t know how to, and I just had to find another angel – or whatever – to help.

My phone rang – distracting me from my thoughts.  
“Yeah?”, I answered it.  
“Lulu. It’s Tamara”, my friend said.  
“Hey, Tammy. What’s up?”.  
“I need your help. My partner didn’t show up; and this nest isn’t a one-woman job”.  
I sighed.  
“Tammy…”.  
“I know, I know; but I really need you on this one. Think of it as a learning experience”.  
I frowned. It would be a good way to learn, I agreed – and I trusted Tamara knew what she was doing. On top of that, I needed to be as far away from Dean as I could.  
“Give me the address…”.

After Tamara had let me know where to meet her, I got dressed quickly, and put on my jacket.  
Almost running through the library, I saw Sam now bent over a strange looking rock, by the mapped table.  
“I’m going out. I’ll be back for my book”, I muttered, and went to get my backpack, when I realized it was missing.  
“I packed up a bag”, Sam said. “It’s got some better equipment for you; if you’re gonna keep up hunting”.  
I looked over my shoulder at him.  
“Thanks”, I muttered.  
“Welcome”, he said.

He handed me a canvas backpack, with a little more weight than my own.  
I opened it, and saw bullets and a large knife, and a machete in a leather sheath.  
“Silver ammo, iron knife; and there’s a zippo in the side pocket”.  
“Weres, witches and vampires. Got it”, I said; and put on the bag.  
Sam frowned.  
“Where are you going?”.  
“Just… out. Meeting a friend”, I said. “Do you have a car I can use until I get back?”  
He threw me a set of car keys.  
“There’s a Dodge parked a little way down the road. Take it. And uhm… my number. Just in case”. He scribbled down a number on a piece of paper, and came over to hand it to me.  
I smiled warmly, and pocketed the keys and the note.  
“How long will you be gone?”, Sam muttered.  
“As long as it takes. That’s how the job is, right?”, I shrugged.  
Sam’s face dropped.  
“What job?”, he demanded.  
I sighed.  
“Don’t worry. Your care-package here will keep me safe”, I smiled. “I’ll be back before you know it. Maybe you’ll even have a few extra hours with my book”.  
“Lulu… what job?”.  
I got on my toes, and kissed his cheek.  
“Bye, Sammy”.  
I ran up the stairs, and exited the bunker.

I found my “new” car half a mile down the road. It was rusty and sad looking; and fit my state of mind perfectly at the moment.  
I got settled in the driver’s seat, after having set the Dodge up the way I wanted it.  
Surprisingly, the engine started without trouble; and I turned on the radio. Dean must have driven the car before, because a tape began playing Girls Girls Girls.  
I was smiling sadly to myself, as I drove the car out on the road at the bottom of the mound.

\---


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The road so far…  
> Lulu is reunited with Dean, when he, Sam and Castiel needs the journal Bobby left her. She lets Dean know that this will be the last time she will see him, as being in his presence hurts her too much.  
> When a phone call from what she thinks is a friend in need, brings her face to face with The King of Hell himself, will she finally have a chance to break her bond with Dean?  
> Our story continues in season 8

I made it to Pittsburg in a little over two hours. The bar I’d agreed to meet Tamara at was bustling with people; and I found my friend at the bar, wearing a very skintight dress and leather jacket; and fisting a pint of Guinness.  
“Drinking on the job, Tamara?”, I grinned. “Not like you!”.  
She turned around to face me, and her smile was broader than I’d ever seen it.  
“Lulu! You came!”, she smiled.  
“Told you I would”, I laughed, and gave her a hug. “So, what’s the deal here? Are we hunting, or drinking?”.  
“Bit of both, love”, she said. She leaned in close. “Vamps have been picking up girls from this place for a while”.  
I narrowed my eyes.  
“So we’re here to…”.  
“Pick up dates!”, Tamara grinned.

I groaned internally. The last thing I wanted was to play the part of wanton woman on the prowl for man-meat.  
Tamara caught darkness ghosting my face.  
“What’s wrong, Lulu?”, she asked.  
“Nothing… I’m just…”. I couldn’t finish the sentence.  
“On the rebound?”, she smirked. “Only one cure for that. Drinks!”.  
She ordered a round of shots, and I took a deep breath; downing the vile – and probably very cheap – tequila in one go.

“Let’s just get this over with”, I sighed. Tamara’s eyes lit up.  
“Oh! I almost forgot. Brought you something…”. She took my hand, and dragged me towards the restrooms.  
Once inside, she handed me a piece of flimsy fabric.  
“What’s this?”, I asked.  
“A dress…”, Tamara smirked.

I held up the garment in front of me. It looked more like a tank top with a little length to it.  
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”, I muttered.  
She raised a brow at me.  
“You look like a lumberjack”, she said. “Just put it on. Live a little”.  
I shook my head.  
“This is supposed to be a job…”.  
“These bloodsuckers have been going for the easy prey. Girls asking for it”.  
I winced at her words. The Tamara I knew was strong headed and feminist.  
“Asking for it?”, I grunted.  
She shrugged.  
“Sorry. It’s the alcohol talking”, she smiled. “But you know what I mean. Now come on!”.  
I slipped in to a booth, and shed my layers; before pulling the dress over my head.  
“I’m not changing my shoes”, I called out.  
“Fine, whatever. Combat boots it is”, Tamara laughed. “It’ll give you a rock star quality”.

Stepping back outside of the booth, I put my own clothes into my new bag. Tamara looked over my shoulder.  
“New equipment?”, she muttered.  
“Yeah”, I said. “Guess I have a guardian angel”.  
“Huh…”, she said. “Set me up with one of those, will you?”.  
I chuckled.  
“I’m not sure you’d like angels any more than demons”, I said, and closed my backpack; looking at her. Something dark ghosted her face. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to bring up…”.  
“Forget it, love”, she smiled.

I went to look in the mirror. I looked the part of a woman in desperate need of attention. My breasts were on display, and a small slit on the side of the red “dress”, made it so I could at least walk; in spite of the constricting fabric.  
“How am I supposed to hide a machete in this?”, I complained.  
Tamara lifted my hair, and put it in a knot on my head, with a hairband.  
“You’re not”, she smiled; and opened her jacket to reveal a large knife. “You’re the decoy”.  
I rolled my eyes.  
“Great. Thanks for the learning experience, Tammy!”, I sneered.

Tamara pulled out a red lipstick, and turned me to face her; so she could apply it to my lips.  
“It’ll be just like Ohio. Walk before you can run, love”, she said, wiped a stray smudge of lipstick from the side of my lip. She turned me to face the mirror again. “There we go!”.

The woman looking back at me reminded me of someone I hadn’t seen in a long time. She was myself, before the maren; before countess Erzebet – before hunting. I’d missed her, I admitted to myself.

“What’s this?”, Tamara asked, running a finger down my shoulder blade. I twisted my torso, and looked at where she was pointing.  
“My tattoo?”, I smiled. “Would have thought you had one… it’s an anti-possession tattoo”.  
Tamara pulled her hand away from the symbol.  
“Oh… yeah, I should think about getting one of those”, she smiled. “Let’s go! Leave your bag in here”. I put my phone and the car keys into my bra – along with Sam’s number, for reasons I wasn’t sure of yet. It just felt right.  
We left the restrooms, and went to sit down by the bar.  
“Now?”, I muttered.  
“Now, we wait”, Tamara said; scanning the room.

A short man wearing way too much cologne came sauntering over to us.  
“Hey…”, he smirked, bobbing his head to the song coming from the speakers. “I’m…”.  
“Not interested”, Tamara said. I sent her a look. She shook her head. I looked at the guy.  
“What she said”, I shrugged. He walked away, tail between his legs.  
“Can you tell me what I’m supposed to look for?”, I said.   
“Someone colder”, my friend said. “Vamps are usually paler, and don’t smell like the cheap aisles of a drugstore”.   
“Okie dokie”, I muttered.

We sat for a while longer, before suddenly, Tamara pushed me between my shoulders.  
“Plump up the puppies”, she muttered. “We got one”.  
A tall, dark man had stepped into the bar. If ever I’d seen a vampire tv-show; this guy looked like he’d stepped right out of the screen.  
Tamara pushed at me.  
“Go chat him up!”, she hissed.  
“Tammy!”, I almost whimpered. “I’m not gonna…”.  
She patted my bottom.  
“Yes you are. Go!”.

I took a deep breath, and began walking towards the man.   
His eyes narrowed, and he seemed to be scanning the room; before his eyes fell on me. His lip twitched into a sly smile, and – swallowing hard – I returned the gesture.  
He walked over to me, and grabbed my hand.  
“Hi…”, he said with a deep voice. “What’s your name?”.  
“Uhm… whatever you wanna call me”, I tweeted.  
He leaned in close, to whisper in my ear.  
“Guess I’ll call you Honey then. How does that sound?”.  
I felt bile rise in my throat.  
“That sounds… hot”, I smiled. “What’s your name?”

The stranger pulled me out onto the floor, and slipped his hand behind my back; holding me against him, and swaying back and forth. His hand was so cold; and I shivered when it touched the bare skin on my back.  
“Does it matter?”, he smirked.  
“I like to know who I’m dancing with”, I said. I looked back at Tamara, who was giving me the thumbs up. She grabbed her phone from her pocket, and called up a number. She hadn’t told me we’d have partners, but at the moment, I was very happy we wouldn’t be alone. This guy gave me all sorts of creepy feelings.  
“Call me… Patrick”, he said, and dipped me.  
“Swayze?”, I fake giggled. He pulled me back up.  
“Sure”, he smirked.

We swayed back and forth a while longer, until suddenly the song changed. God, please not this one, I thought; when a sad guitar began playing.  
“Lying on your arms, so close together. Didn’t know just what I had…”.  
I cleared my throat.  
“I really hate this song”, I croaked.  
Patrick leant down again, and put his mouth dangerously close to my neck.  
“Do you want to get out of here?”, he said.  
“Sure?”, I said; my voice breaking. “I should probably tell my friend I’m leaving”.  
He looked into my eyes.  
“Go ahead, honey”, he smirked.

Prying myself from his grasp, I walked back to Tamara.  
“He wants me to leave with him”, I said.  
“Good!”, she smiled. “Go on. I’ll be right behind you”.  
“What? Are you crazy? I’m not leaving with him without my weapons!”.  
Tamara grabbed my shoulders.  
“You’re doing great, Lulu. I’ve got you, ok? Trust me!”.  
I blew out a deep breath.  
“If I die, I’m coming back to haunt you!”, I sneered.  
She rolled her eyes, and pushed me back towards Patrick.

Hooking my arm into his, we left the bar. Once outside, the chilly air hit me; and I shivered.  
“You cold, honey?”, Patrick asked.  
“A bit”, I said. “Should we take my car?”.  
“Sure”, he winked at me, and I led him over to the rusty Dodge.  
I got behind the wheel, and Patrick entered beside me.  
“I got a place a few miles out”, he said; his face suddenly dark.  
“Ok”, I said.

I looked out the rearview mirror, and saw Tamara exiting the bar, and halting to speak with a man I hadn’t noticed before. He was only a little taller than her, and seemed a bit to well dressed for a hunter.   
Tamara seemed perfectly at peace with his appearance though, and simply smiled in my direction; pointing at my car.  
The well-dressed man looked towards me; and his lips drew back in a large grin.

“Let’s go, honey”, Patrick said; and I started the car, driving us off the lot, and down the street.

\---

We made it to a house a way outside town. The windows where dark; and when I stopped the car, my hands where shaking.  
“You look good enough to eat”, Patrick smirked. His hand found my knee, and squeezed it.  
“We should… go inside”, I said; and quickly got out of the car.

Where are you, Tamara?, I thought to myself.  
Patrick put his hands on my hips, and led my up to the front door. He turned the knob, and we stepped inside.  
In an instant, I was pressed against the wall, and Patrick slammed the door shut. He nuzzled my neck with his nose.  
“Smell so good”, he growled.  
“That’s nice”, I croaked; regretting every move I’d made since the moment I stepped out of bed the morning before.

Grabbing my arm, Patrick pulled me into what seemed to be a living room; though decked out like a ridiculous boudoir. I looked around, desperate for anything I could use as a weapon.  
Patrick smiled menacingly at me; before his lips drew back, and he revealed a second set of teeth.  
“Oh, crap”, I choked.

Suddenly, the door flew open, and Tamara came running in.  
“Lulu!”, she yelled.  
Patrick was distracted by the sudden change in his plans, and as he looked at her, I kicked him in the groin; making him topple over.  
“Kill him!”, I yelped.  
“Not yet!”, she said. “Where are your friends?”, she hissed at the groaning vampire.

There was a slamming of doors, and the sound of feet running throughout the house, and suddenly we were surrounded by five more hissing vampires.  
“All part of the plan?”, I snarled at Tamara; as we took a stance, back to back. “Please tell me you brought my stuff!”.

“She brought something better”, a gravelly voice said. The well-dressed man stepped into the room. He looked at the vampires. “One, two, three, four, five… six. Perfect!”, he counted, and clapped his hands together. He snapped his fingers, and what looked like black smoke filled the room – separating into six parts, and entering the mouths of the vampires.

The vamps all shook themselves, and Patrick got up from the floor.  
“What’s happening?”, I muttered.  
“What’s happening, is my best invention to date!”, the man laughed. “Vampire-demons. I can’t believe I never thought of this before… Thank you, Tamara”.  
I turned around, and looked at my friend. Her eyes where charcoal black.  
“You’re welcome, my lord”, she smiled.

I took a step back; falling into the arms of Patrick.  
“Tsk, pet. Where are you going?”, the man said. “We’re not done here”.  
Patrick pulled my head back, and leaned towards my neck.  
“Hungry…”, he hissed against my exposed skin. He was much to strong for me to get away from; and I was sure this was the end.  
“Hold up, Pat”, the man said. “I’ll serve you a nice dinner later. For now, me and this lovely lady need to have a conversation”.  
Patrick pushed me forward with a snarl, making me jump.

“Who are you?”, I croaked. “What are you?”.  
“Right… you’ve never actually faced one of us before”, the man said. “Name is Crowley. I am a demon”. I swallowed hard.  
“What did you do to Tamara?”.  
Crowley stroked my friend’s cheek.  
“Tamara is still in there. Struggling something fierce”. He slapped her hard, but Tamara didn’t wince. “I had one of my favorites possess her”.  
“She’s too strong for that”, I croaked. “Fight it, Tamara!”.  
“Cute”, Crowley smiled. “Not convincing”.

I slowly walked towards Tamara, and stroked her cheek. Her black eyes widened, and she grinned at me.  
“Oh, that feels nice, love. Keep going”.  
I sighed deeply, and let my lips tremble, as if I was about to cry. Demon-Tamara tilted her head and pouted – distracted just long enough for me to grab the knife from the inside of her jacket.  
“What do you think you’re going to do with that, pet?”, Crowley asked.  
I elbowed Tamara in the face; and shoved the knife into his chest; taking a step back, when he didn’t even flinch.  
“Rude!”, he growled. “This is Armani!”. He pulled the knife out. “You can have this back, when you behave”.

“What do you want with me?”, I asked, my heart in my throat.  
He smiled again.  
“It’s nothing, really. A mere trifle”, he said. “The Winchester’s have something of mine. I want it back”.  
I sighed.  
“Let me guess; you’re gonna use me to get to them”.  
Crowley laughed.  
“Sounds like you’ve been here before, hmm? I’ve heard they have a tendency to drop everything and come running, whenever you have a hangnail. What does Dean see in you?”. He gave me a once over, pausing at my chest. “Right… that”. He met my eyes with a slight smirk.

I decided to play his game, and rolled my eyes.  
“Ok. Tie me up, poke me with something sharp; whatever it is you guys do”, I said.  
“Well, you’re no fun”, Crowley frowned. “Couldn’t you at least… scream a little? Plead for your life? I mean, I made all these vampire-demons...”.  
I shook my head.  
“Too much effort”, I said. “I mean, I’m shaking in my boots, don’t get me wrong – but I know how this ends”.  
“And how is that?”.  
“Well, you torture me for a while – then Dean and Sam show up and fight you…”.

Crowley laughed.  
“It’s like you read my mind!”, he said.  
“Ok, let’s call them”, I croaked.  
“Just like that?”, the demon asked. “No Please Mr. Crowley, don’t kill my sweetheart?”. I swallowed hard, and looked down. “No? You two aren’t…?”.  
“It’s not like that”, I whispered.  
Crowley raised his brows.  
“Well, if I had a heart, it’d be breaking for you right now… What happened? Really, tell your uncle Crowley, pet…”.  
My façade broke, and I slapped him across the face. Crowley simply raised a brow at me.  
“That tickled”.

Suddenly I was on the ground, Crowley’s hand on my throat – squeezing hard. The demon-vampires all looked down at me; baring their extra set of teeth.  
“Now, you call Moose and Squirrel, and tell them to bring back my tablet; or I’ll snap this pretty neck faster than they can say where’s my flannel”.  
I nodded as fiercely as I could under his grasp, and reached slowly for my phone, and the note with Sam’s number. I dialed it up.

“Sam’s phone. Who’s this?”. It was Dean’s voice.  
“Dean…”, I rasped.  
“Lulu… What’s wrong?”, he demanded.  
I almost laughed.  
“Take a wild guess…”, I said.  
Crowley was starring into my eyes intently.  
“You’re in trouble”, Dean growled.  
“Surprise…”, I muttered.  
“What is it?”, he said.  
I looked at Crowley.  
“Hi, Dean!”, he said cheerily.  
“You’re friggin’ kidding me!”  
“You have my tablet. I have your girlfriend. Let’s make a deal”.  
“Now you listen to me, you son of a…”.  
“He’s not on speaker”, I said. “Too busy strangling me… and possibly serving up as dinner for a group of vampires”.  
I heard things being thrown around. Dean was pissed.  
“This isn’t the time for jokes! You’ve got the King of Hell with his hands around your neck!”.  
My jaw dropped.  
“The crossroads demon?”, I whispered. My eyes began flickering. Crossroad demons made deals.

Crowley’s eyes widened, and his lips drew back in a wide grin. He snatched the phone from my hand, and got off me.  
“Hello, Dean…? Yes, yes, I’m a son of a bitch, I know. I’ve met my mother. Now listen… No… Stop talking. I’ve reconsidered. Kevin, the tablet; I’ll have those soon enough. I have something much more fun in mind for now… Yes, exactly… Why? Because it’ll piss you off!”.  
I stood up from the floor, and began backing away. Patrick grabbed a hold of me again; putting his teeth to my neck.  
“Hold that thought”, he said into the phone, before putting it to his chest. “Lulu, love. Don’t go anywhere. We’re not done”. He lifted the phone to his ear again. “Yes, I’m still here… No. She’s fine. She’ll stay fine. At least the next 10 years. Don’t worry… Yes, you can have her back”. He handed me the phone. “His voice is so deep when he’s angry”, he winked at me.

I put the phone to my ear.  
“Lou, don’t do this”, Dean pleaded.  
“I don’t… Maybe he can end it”, I croaked. The teeth of the vampire were scratching at my skin.  
“He can’t!”.  
“If he can’t, the deal will be off. I’ll be fine”. I looked at Crowley, who nodded in agreement.  
“This isn’t the way. We’ll figure it out. Please!”. Dean was almost whimpering.  
I blew out a deep breath.  
“When this is done, you won’t care if I did it”, I said. “I won’t matter to you anymore”. Crowley narrowed his eyes at me. “I can’t live like this”, I whispered.  
Crowley pouted in mock sympathy.  
“Where are you?”, Dean asked.  
“I’m… I’ll see you soon”. I hung up.

Crowley clapped his hands together.  
“Right! What is it?”, he asked. “Pat, let the lady go. She’s not a meal… yet”. Patrick pushed me forward with a growl. “An std? A few more inches for Squirrel…?”. I frowned. “Oh, is he impotent?”, the demon said, grimacing.  
“No…”, I said. “I want…”.  
“Yes, yes, come on. I don’t have all day!”, Crowley sneered.  
“I want you to break our bond”, I said.  
Crowley looked confused.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”.  
I swallowed hard.  
“I was made for Dean… To be his. Angels put me on earth for him”.

The demon suddenly let out a roaring laugh.  
“You think you were put on this planet to be with Dean?”.  
“Yes…?”, I whispered. “It’s too… perfect. I’m his perfect companion. Our feelings aren’t real”.  
Crowley rolled his eyes.  
“Well you are perfect for him. You’re just as daft as he is! Give me that…”. He stepped over to me, and snatched the phone from my hand; hitting redial.

“Come one, come on… Yes, Deano! It’s Crowley again… Could you stop cursing and turn down your car radio, I can hardly hear my own thoughts… Right, deal’s off. She asked. Can’t help. Get me my stuff, or I’ll kill her… Pittsburg… Yes, exactly… Toodles!”. He hung up, and handed me back my phone. “Now, we wait”.

\---

I was tied to a chair. Tamara was filing her nails on a couch against the wall; and the vampires were spread throughout the house – waiting for Sam and Dean to show up. Crowley paced the floor in front of me; taking phone calls from who I guessed were his minions.

Suddenly the door flew open, and the brothers ran inside; guns at the ready.  
Dean’s face was locked in rage; but when he stepped into the room, he wasn’t looking at Crowley with said expression – he was looking at me.  
Tamara sprang from her seat.  
“Hi lads!”, she grinned. “Long time, no see”.  
“She’s a demon”, I croaked. “Still alive inside”.

“Let them go!”, Dean roared.  
“No”, Crowley said; hanging up on yet another bloody wanker. He put a hand on my shoulder. “First; my things”.  
“You think we’d bring it here?”, Sam said.  
“Well, it’s simple. Then I kill the girl”, the demon said, and put a hand on the top of my head, and the other on my chin; as if to break my neck. My heart jumped into my throat.  
“Crowley!”, Dean snarled.  
Crowley leaned in to whisper in my ear.  
“Almost makes my knickers slide right off when he uses that voice”, he smirked. “Now, where is my tablet?”, he roared.

Patrick and his friends entered the room, and surrounded us.  
“I’m done waiting, boys. And so are my lads here”.  
The vampires bared their teeth, and let their eyes turn black.  
“What the hell is this?”, Sam yelled.  
“My best idea yet!”, Crowley snickered; letting go of me. “Vampire-demons! Aren’t they just the cutest thing…”.

The Winchesters both looked flabbergasted.  
“Oh, come on!”, Dean growled. “Vamp-demons?”.  
Crowley almost giggled.  
“I know. Sometimes my wit even surprises myself”, he said. “Now… my tablet. Give it over, and I’ll let it be quick”.

I knew I’d be dead within seconds if I didn’t act.  
“I know where it is”, I said. Dean narrowed his eyes at me. “It’s in a bunker”.  
Crowley let go of me.  
“Atta girl! Where’s this bunker?”  
“Lou!”, Dean growled.  
I shook my head.  
“It’s over, Dean”, I said. “I’m not dying for your cause”.

Crowley went to stand in front of me, narrowing his eyes.  
“Where, pet?”.  
“I’ll take you. But you have to promise to let me go afterwards”, I croaked.  
“You have my solemn word as a gentleman… or, whatever”, Crowley said. “Patrick. Untie her”.  
Patrick loosened my restraints, and I stood up.  
“There’s a good girl”, Crowley smiled. “Lads, you hold down the fort here. But no dinner until I return. I want to watch”.  
“We’ll take my car”, I muttered.

Dean’s eyes met mine. His gaze was pained.  
“You can’t do this, Lulu”, Sam said.  
“Sam… don’t. This is my decision”.  
“Please, Lou…”, Dean pleaded.  
I looked at him with hard eyes.  
“I have to let him get in that driver’s seat”. It was a strange sentence, but I hoped Dean would let it lie. He looked at me questioningly.  
“Bye, boys”, Crowley called over his shoulder.

Once outside, I opened the door to the driver’s seat for Crowley, and he got in front of the wheel.  
“Ugh, I hate driving lefty… Keys?”. I took a step back.  
“I have them”, I said.  
“Well, get in and give them to me”, the demon demanded.  
“No…”, I responded.  
“No…? What are you talking about? Get in the bloody car, or I’ll drag…”. He tried to step out of the car again, but couldn’t.  
I crouched, and pointed at the ceiling of the Dodge. The devils trap I’d made with a marker over the driver’s seat, was still there.  
“I hope you know how to hotwire a car; because that’s the only way you’re getting anywhere…”, I said; and closed the door on the cursing Crowley. Grabbing a bottle of water from the trunk, I went back to the house. Crowley was banging the window; the demonic seal apparently making him unable to break it.

I went back into the house, and into the living room. Sam and Dean where in the process of being tied up by the vamp-demons.  
Tamara looked at me.  
“What?”, she snarled.  
“Crowley wants you to come”, I said quietly; sending Dean a look. He narrowed his eyes at me.  
Tamara rolled her black eyes, and followed me to the porch.

“That’s a really ugly car”, she grunted, and began walking down the steps from the porch. I opened the bottle of water; and poured it over her.  
“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica. Ergo, omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te”, I said as quickly as I could, and black smoke left Tamara’s body; making her slump to the ground.  
I crouched over her, patting her cheek.  
“Please, Tammy. I need your help. Wake up!”, I whispered.

Tamara’s eyes blinked, and she looked at me.  
“Is it gone?”, she rasped. I let out a relieved sigh, and pulled her into my arms, hugging her tightly.  
“It’s gone”, I croaked. “But we’re gonna have to fight. Are you up for it?”.  
Tamara’s lips drew back in a snarl.  
“Hell yeah!”, she said. “Weapons?”.  
My eyes searched the area; and I smiled, when I saw a black Chevy Impala parked a little way down the road.  
“I know where to get some…”.

We ran to the Impala, and I opened the trunk, lifting the false bottom.  
“Bloody jackpot!”, Tamara smiled.  
We each grabbed a machete along with some bottles of water. I picked up a knife as well.  
“What’s that for?”, Tamara asked.  
“You’ll see”, I muttered. She grimaced in confusion.

I walked back to the Dodge, and opened the door to the driver’s seat.  
“Let me out of here you sodding… Ow!”, Crowley snarled, as I stabbed him again; before pulling the knife back out. “What was that for?”.  
I looked at the bloody blade.  
“Your vessel. He’s dead, right?”, I asked.  
“Of course he is!”, Crowley hissed.   
“Great. Bye, your majesty”. I slammed the door in his face. “Let’s go”.

We snuck back to the door.  
“Remember the exorcism I used?”, I whispered.  
“I taught it to you, love”, Tamara smirked. “On three…”.  
I put my hand on the doorknob.  
“One… two… three!”.  
We sprang into the house, threw water at the monsters holding the Winchesters captive; and chanted in unison.

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica. Ergo, omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te!”

Black smoke poured out of the vampires. The beasts all looked confusedly at each other, before snapping their necks in Tamara’s and my direction.  
“Dinnertime, boys”, Patrick yelled.

One of the vampires sprang at me, and I slashed the machete across his torso. He instantly toppled over, rattling in pain; and I cut his head off.  
Narrowly escaping being taken down by another vamp, I threw myself towards Sam and Dean.  
“Lou, what are you doing?”, Dean yelled.  
“Saving your ass!”, I snarled, and cut the ropes holding him to the chair. “Here”. I handed him the knife, and slashed at another vampire trying to get me from behind. He grabbed my ankle, and pulled me to the ground; but Tamara cut his head clean off – spraying me with blood in the process.  
“Thanks”, I gasped.  
Dean cut Sam free, and they joined us in our fight.  
“Get out of here!”, Dean growled.  
“Hell no!”, I yelled, and got on my feet.

“Four left!”, Tamara yelled.  
One of the vamps was heading for the door, but I made it over to him just in time to cut the back of his knee; making him fall to the ground. The last thing he saw, was my face as I hacked his head off.  
“That’s two for me”, I grinned.  
“Leave some for me, Lulu! I only got the one”, Tamara laughed.  
I heard a crash as Sam pushed one of the vamps to the ground. He held the snarling monster down.  
“A little help?”, Sam yelled.  
“All yours”, I said to Tamara; who ran over, and cut the thing’s head off.  
Dean snatched the machete from Tamara, and quickly decapitated a vamp coming at him from a dark corner.

The house was silent. I looked around.  
“There was six of them”, I said. Dean looked at me; his eyes suddenly widening.  
“Lou, behind you!”.  
I twirled around; only to be caught by the neck, by none other than Patrick.  
“Hi, honey”, he smirked; before pulling me into his arms, and biting into my neck. The pain was excruciating, and I yelped out in pain - dropping my machete on the floor.

“No!”, Dean roared, and ran towards us.  
Patrick pulled his head back, and turned me around to face my friends.  
“Don’t!”, he snarled; my blood dripping from his mouth. “I’ll kill her”, he warned.  
Tamara went to step forward; but Sam held her back.  
I looked at the knife in Dean’s hand, and then at Tamara. She nodded, and snatched it from him – throwing it into the air.  
I caught it by the blade – feeling it cut into my stitched-up hand – before pushing it into Patrick’s side.  
The vampire laughed.  
“That won’t kill me, honey”, he said.  
“No, but the dead man’s blood on it will”, I rasped.

Patrick began letting out choking sounds, and loosened his grasp on me. I put my hand on my bleeding neck, and stumbled forward – Dean catching me in his arms.  
Sam walked up to Patrick, and cut his head off.

I let out a deep breath.  
“Ok… It’s over”.  
Dean gave me an angry look.  
“Try that again…”.  
I looked down, and pulled myself from his arms.

“Are you ok, Lulu?”, Tamara asked; and came over to examine my wound. “You did great, love!”.  
I smiled blushingly.  
“Thanks… I guess my vampire cherry is popped”.  
“Sure is”, she smiled. She looked up at the brothers. “Good to see you two again”.  
“Thanks for the rescue, Tamara”, Sam half smiled. Dean nodded at her with an insincere smile.  
“Yeah. Thanks for that, Tamara”. He made a point of shoving the brit his gratitude – not me. “Let’s get out of here”.

We went back outside. I was exhausted, and almost stumbled down the stairs. The door to the Dodge was open, and the seal on the ceiling of it was scratched at. Somehow, Crowley had gotten away.  
“Crap”, I muttered.  
Sam crouched down, and looked into the car.  
“Good thinking, though”.  
“Sam!”, Dean growled. “Lulu, get in the car”. I sighed, and went for the front seat of the Dodge. “Not that car”.

Tamara frowned at him.  
“Who do you think you’re talking to, Winchester? This girl just killed three vampires on her first hunt for those bloodsucking buggers!”.  
“I’m talking to the girl who almost sold her soul to the king of Hell!”, Dean snarled. “Stay out of it”.  
Tamara laughed sarcastically, and began rolling up the sleeves of her jacket.  
“Oh, I should…”.  
“It’s fine, Tammy”, I sighed. “I can fight my own battles… but thanks”.  
“You’re gonna let some boy talk to you like that?”, she sneered.  
I shook my head.  
“No, I’m not. But he has something of mine, and I want it back”, I said. “I’ll tear him a new one afterwards”.  
“If you don’t, I will”, she snapped.

I pulled her in for a hug.  
“I need to go back with them”, I muttered. “Thanks. For everything”.  
“No, thank you! Call me”, Tamara said. I handed her the keys to the Dodge. “Thanks. Might even make it back to my own car in it. The thing looks like it’s falling apart”.  
I kissed her cheek, and she got into the driver’s seat; turning on the engine, and driving away.

\---

“What the hell were you thinking?”, Dean roared at me.  
“Demon vampires?”, Sam snarled. “You’re lucky Tamara was there!”.  
“She was a demon too, remember?”, I muttered. “I saved her ass, just like I did yours”.

The whole drive back had been quiet; and I felt like a teenager who’d missed curfew. We’d gone by the bar, and Sam has slipped into the ladies room to grab my bag for me; as I was covered in blood, and might freak people out.  
I was now seated – freshly showered, and once again stitched up and bandaged – in the library in the bunker; getting a verbal ass-whooping from both the Winchesters; while Castiel stood in the archway – sending me chiding eyes.

“You could have died!”, Sam yelled.   
“Worse; you could have gone to Hell!”, Dean growled. “Your soul, Lou? Do you have any idea…?”.  
“It’s my soul to do with as I want”, I said.  
Dean looked at me with enraged eyes.   
Sam’s gaze softened.  
“Lulu, you’re family… This wouldn’t just affect you”.  
“I’m sorry…”, I whispered. Sam sighed.   
“I’m gonna get back to Bobby’s journal; so you can get it back”, he said; and disappeared down a hallway.

I sighed, and shook my head.  
“I just wanted…”, I began  
“To get rid of me?”, Dean croaked. “Do you really hate me that much?”.  
“You know I don’t… that’s the problem”, I said quietly.  
“You know what? Cut the crap, Lou!”, Dean snapped. “This thing between us, angelic intervention or… whatever! You don’t make deals with demons”.

“What do you mean, angelic intervention?”, Castiel interrupted.  
I looked at him indignantly.  
“Cass, you know what we’re talking about”, I said. “This bond between Dean and me. It’s crap!”.

I stood up, and went to leave the room.  
“I’m gonna go get some rest. Let you finish your research”.  
Dean grabbed my shoulders, and held me in place. His eyes were welling up, and I felt my own tears approaching.  
“Listen… I’m letting you go”, he croaked. “Even though everything inside me is screaming for me, to hold on to you; because you’re mine. I’m letting you walk, because that’s what you want…”.  
“It’s not!”, I whispered. “I want to be here. I want to stay with you… But it’s not real!”.

Castiel walked over to us.  
“I don’t understand why you both keep saying that”, he smiled.  
Dean looked over his shoulder at the angel.  
“Stay out of this, Cass. You already said you couldn’t help, so just… don’t. Your kind has done enough to mess up this thing”.  
Castiel sighed.  
“I can’t help; because what’s between you has nothing to do with angels. I don’t even think a cupid hit you”.  
I looked at him, my breath bated.  
“W-what do you mean?”, I stammered.  
Cass raised his brows.  
“I didn’t understand before just now… You think Lulu was created for you”.  
Dean let go of me, and turned around.  
“She was… wasn’t she?”.  
I heard the angel chuckle.  
“Angels didn’t put you two together, Dean”, Castiel said. “Happenstance and probably lust did that. Maybe even love”.  
“So you’re telling me what we had… was real?”, Dean asked.  
“I think what you have is real”, Cass responded.

A jolt went through my body, and I suddenly felt cold. Dean turned to look at me; his eyes wide.  
“It’s real”, he breathed.  
I stumbled backwards, and ran out of the room, and down the hall.  
“Lou!”, Dean called after me.

My heart was beating so hard, I was convinced I could see my chest jump.  
It was real. All this time, I’d wasted it. This was why Crowley wouldn’t make a deal with me.  
“Lou, please, stop!”. I turned to face Dean’s pained face. “I’m… This is my fault… All this time…”.  
I shook my head.  
“Dean, I can’t…”, I whispered; tears streaming from my eyes.  
“Please… I did this to you. To us. I filled your head with lies that I made up myself, because I was arrogant…”. He let out a defeated breath. “I’m so, so sorry, baby…”.

“Years…”, I whimpered. “I wasted years I could have had, being happy…”.  
“Without me in your head, having a real life. I know”, Dean croaked.  
“No”, I shook my head. “With you, Dean”. I took a step forward. “I wanted you, all along. And it was real”.  
“You shouldn’t…”, he began.  
“But I do. Me – my own decisions, no manipulation – I want you”. Dean looked down; and my heart fell into my stomach. “But… You don’t want…”.  
Dean almost ran over to me.  
“I do, baby. I do”, he said; and his arms were around me.

I began sobbing for real.  
“Please, Lou. Don’t leave me. Don’t walk out of my life again”, Dean whispered into my ear.  
I turned my head, and looked into his eyes.  
“Give me a reason to stay…”, I said.

Suddenly, Dean’s lips were on mine. All that pent-up emotion – those intense feelings – they were all ok to have, because they were my own. And I let go; allowed myself to feel them, as my lips parted, and I breathed in the man in front of me.  
The scent of him overtook me, and my knees almost gave in, when Dean suckled at my lower lip.  
He tore himself from our kiss, and looked at me with pleading eyes.  
“Can I please take you to my room, now?”.  
I couldn’t answer; so I just nodded.

Dean grabbed my hand, and led me down the hall, to room 11. As soon as we were inside, he slammed the door closed; and his lips were on mine again.  
“God, I’ve missed you”, he breathed against my mouth. He shed his shirt, and I stepped backwards; suddenly strangely self-aware. Dean was about to lift the hem of his t-shirt, but stopped himself, when he saw my face. “I… We don’t have to”.  
“No. I’m just…”. I swallowed hard. “What if I’m not that girl you first met anymore? I’m different, now…”.  
“So am I”, he smiled softly. “Hell. Purgatory… all that crap. It changed me. I think the thought of you was part of what pulled me through…”.

I sat down at the foot of the bed.  
“That’s just it”, I said. “You’ve been remembering that first-grade teacher, who danced on a table to the Ramones. Who didn’t know anything about vampires or ghosts… And who didn’t hunt”.  
Dean blew out a deep breath.  
“I’m… I know things are different for you”, he said. “And that’s my fault. I got you into all of this stuff”.  
“No… I’m in this life, because I want it. You’re so dead set on me living a normal life”, I sighed. “That’s the girl you want. But this is the woman I am”. I gestured towards the bandage on my neck, covering the wound from the vampire’s bite.

Dean stood for a while, seemingly having an internal conversation with himself.  
“Well, I guess that’s the woman I’m going to have to get to know”, he concluded. “But that amazing girl, who sassed me even when she thought I was a fed… The one who got drunk, poked my ass, and called it firm”, he chuckled. “The girl who danced with me to a song that’s become kind of a guilty pleasure to me… That’s still you as well. And I think the woman is just an improvement on her”.

I blushed, and looked down.  
“Well, it was firm. Your jeans were tighter then, so I don’t know about now”.  
Dean laughed.  
“And there’s that smart-ass mouth again. She’s still there”.  
I stood back up, and walked over to him; putting my hand on his cheek. I narrowed my eyes, and looked into his.  
“And you still have nice eyes”, I whispered; before getting on my toes, and putting my lips to his again.  
Deans arm slid around me; holding me flush against him. I ran my hand up his chest, and relished in the shivers I could feel going through his body.

With a firm hand on my hip, Dean backed me towards the bed; and as it hit the back of my knees, I fell backwards. Dean leaned over me; but before our lips could meet, I tugged at his t-shirt – wanting it off. Dean obliged with a smile.  
His body was more toned than I remembered it being. Years of hunting and fighting had made Dean leaner – with sharper edges, and more scars – but no less gorgeous.

Sitting up on the bed – my feet still on the floor – I let my fingers trace over a slight scar down Dean’s abdomen.  
“Lamia”, he muttered. I traced another, down his forearm. “A friend… in Purgatory”.  
I pulled myself backwards on the bed; and Dean followed. With a knee between my legs, he was once again over me, kissing my lips softly; and pulling at my tank-top. I lifted my arms, and let him take it off. His eyes glinted from the sight of my mostly bare torso; up until he saw the tulpa scar again.

Dean ran his thumb down the mark; and while I was delighting in the sensation of him touching me again, I saw darkness ghost his face.  
“I’m ok”, I smiled.  
“I hate that you go out there unprepared… You don’t know what you’re doing”, he grunted.  
“Tell that to the three vampires I killed last night…”, I said. “Now, do you want to fight, or do you wanna take my pants off?”.  
Dean couldn’t help but smirk.  
“Well, that’s an offer I can’t refuse…”, he muttered.

Running his hand from my ribs, to the waistline of my jeans; he opened the button, and pulled down the zipper – instantly sending electricity through my warmth from his mere proximity to it.  
I let out a short breath, as his fingers hooked into the fabric, and he pulled my pants down – stopping, when he realized I was still wearing boots. I laughed as I kicked them off; and Dean smilingly completed his task – getting rid of my socks while he was at it.  
Then his face darkened again.

“What’s that?”, he said, and gestured towards a ragged scar on my thigh.  
“The leviathan…”, I muttered.  
His eyes widened.  
“The Pete leviathan?”, he almost growled. “He did this to you?”.  
“Yeah, right before I cut his head off”, I whispered; feeling a bit exposed in my undress, with an angry looking hunter towering over me. “Dean, you’re starring… and not in a way that makes me feel very sexy…”.  
His gaze softened.  
“Sorry”, he muttered, and sat down on the bed next to me. “How did you get out of that alive?”.  
I smirked.  
“Dumb luck”, I said. “I was washing the floors of the bar, when Pete came in; asking me to come back to Kansas with him… Then, his feet started melting, and I ran up the stairs, for my sword. When he finally came up after me, his feet were halfway gone, and he wasn’t moving very fast – so I just slashed, and his head came off… Adrenaline, I guess”.  
Dean grunted.  
“But he still got you”, he said.  
“Just the one cut”, I smiled. “I had a local vet stitch it up”.  
Dean let his index finger graze the mark.  
“They did a bum ass job out of it”, he muttered.  
I rolled my eyes.  
“Considering getting a tattoo to cover it up”, I said.  
“Yeah, you need one of these”, Dean retorted, and pointed towards his own anti possession tattoo.  
I grinned, and turned around – showing him the small tattoo just next to my bra strap.  
“This one?”, I jeered.  
Dean ran a hand down his face, and shook his head in defeat.  
“You’re something else”, he smiled.

I grabbed his hand, and pulled him down to lay with me. Dean put his one thigh between mine; and the friction between his jeans clad leg against my core, made me gasp slightly. He smirked at my reaction, and grabbed my thigh gently; pulling it around his hip – and pressed against me.  
I whimpered softly, and put my hand behind Deans head, to pull him in for another kiss. I ran my tongue over his upper lip, while he suckled at my lower one.  
I felt Deans beginning erection press against my thigh, under his jeans; and slid my hand down his back – over his taught muscles – and hooked my thumb into his waistband; pushing down. Dean got the message, and lifted himself off me; opening his jeans, and taking them off.

Hooking my leg around Deans, I invited him back between my thighs; and he returned to his former position – pressing his thigh against my core.  
With his face in the crook of my neck, he began nibbling at my neck on the opposite side of the bite-wound – probably leaving hickeys.  
“Marking your territory? What are you, 16?”, I giggled.   
“You taste nice”, Dean breathed against my neck. “And that vamp got to bite you. Why shouldn’t I?”  
He grinded his thigh against me, and I whimpered again.   
He let his lips, teeth and tongue travel down my neck, and across my collarbone.   
I swayed my hips to rub against his leg, and he chuckled softly.  
“I like that I can still do this to you”, he muttered.  
“And I love that it’s because you really want to”, I breathed; and pulled his face up to kiss him again.

Our almost naked bodies entangled in this manner, was heavenly. Deans soft skin covering his firm muscles, so close to mine – it was as if we were built specifically to lay like this, together. But we weren’t built for it; which just made it so much better. It was just perfect all on its own.

Kissing Dean deeply; my tongue demanded access to his. Dean didn’t take much convincing, and with a stifled moan, he brushed it against mine.  
I tried to pull him all the way on top of me, but Dean shook his head – continuing to press his thigh against my covered folds. It was as if he knew something I didn’t.  
Putting his hand on my breast, he squeezed it for a moment, before pulling down the cup under it – giving him access to my nipple. He rolled it gently between two fingers, sending shivers down my spine, and pulsating jolts straight from it, to my core.

I used all my strength to move my one leg, so that Dean would be all the way on top of me, between my thighs; but once again, he shook his head – and tweezed my nipple a little harder.  
“Please…”, I pleaded against Dean’s lips. He used his free hand to hold my leg in place.  
“Not yet”, he breathed. “Like this. I wanna see you…”.

He pressed is flexed thigh even harder against me; and began moving back and forth. He wanted me to come undone on his leg – without any skin to skin contact on my folds. The sensation was frustrating, and yet amazingly pleasurable. I wanted to feel him inside me, but all I got was this rubbing; this intense and hot friction.

Dean’s lips left mine, and he looked at me intently, as my breath grew ragged; and the warmth in my vagina grew into a pulsating fire. He put one hand around my back – grabbing on to my shoulder to keep me from pulling away from his leg – and the other dug into my thigh; forcing it to stay around his hip.  
“Move, baby. Don’t stop”, he demanded in a soft voice.  
I ground my hips back and forth, desperately – and suddenly the coil in my lower abdomen snapped; and I came against his thigh, with breathy moans and squeals.

Coming down from my high, my whole body almost shivering from the orgasm along with the frustration of not feeling like I actually finished properly; I looked pleadingly at Dean.  
“That wasn’t fair…”, I whimpered.  
He looked at me confusedly.  
“You didn’t…?”.  
I was still shaking.  
“Obviously, I did… But I wanted you inside”, I said quietly.  
Dean chuckled.  
“Baby, you think I’m done with you? I’m making up for lost time, here”, he smirked. “That was just prep-work…”.

I attacked his lips with a fervor, pushing him to lay on his back. Straddling his waist, I opened my bra, and took it off – throwing it over my shoulder – and earning a pleased smile from the man between my legs.  
“Touch me”, I breathed. Deans eyes widened, and his hands found my breasts – pushing them together, and massaging them. He looked at me like I was a delicious piece of pie he couldn’t wait to chow down on.  
As he ran his thumbs over my nipples, I carefully moved my bottom backwards; and felt his hardness against me again.

Dean drew in a short breath, when I began moving my hips back and forth on top of him – grinding against his penis, over his boxers. He moved his hands down to my hips, and tried to get me off him, so he could take off his underwear; but I just smirked, and shook my head.  
“Not so fun, when the tables are turned, is it?”, I said.  
“Lou…”, Dean said warningly, as he raised a brow at me. “You’re playing with fire here…”.  
“Am I? I thought I was playing with your…”.

Suddenly I was on my back again; and Dean pulled off my panties, and his own boxers. He laid down between my legs, and looked at me intently.  
“I don’t wanna play anymore. I just want you”, he breathed.  
I smiled, and nodded.

With a hand around his member, he positioned himself against my entrance; and pushed himself inside me with a muffled moan.  
For a moment we just laid there; looking into each other’s eyes.  
“Can I say it now?”, Dean breathed.  
I swallowed hard.  
“Only if you mean it”, I croaked.  
His brows furrowed, and he put his hand on my cheek, stroking my cheekbone with his thumb.

“I love you”, he said.  
My breath hitched.  
“I love you too”, I whispered; and our lips met in a soft kiss.

\---


End file.
